What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What is the story of how you met your spouse?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Make Nazis afraid again!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why do people say African Americans act the way they do because they're poor, when the ones with money act the same?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why do we still feel attached or jealous when a covert narcissist moves on, even after realizing their toxicity and the suffering they caused?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What does it mean to live "the 'underconsumption' life"?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

It seems that I am cursed with bad luck. How do I break such a curse?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

TEXT:

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.